Ok I have to admit it. I am a fan of the The Home Shopping Network. I don’t give a shit about the products sold there, but I find the people who tout the products (as well as the hosts) highly entertaining. Trust me, there’s no better drunk entertainment than to watch that crazy ass Paula Abdul tout her jewelry collection while on a vicodin high.

Lately I have been very intrigued (by “intrigued” I mean my eyes being able to stay open for five minutes before I pass out) by this Asian lady who goes by the name Wei East. Bitch touts her moisturizing products like it’s some mystical shit from the Orient.  Check out the clip here. The best part of it is when she and the dumb host keep referring to the word “epidermis” as “epidural”. Wei reminds me of an aunt who kept telling me I was fat when I was a kid, yet force fed me chicken butt because she thought it would do my facial complexion some good. Wei also reminds me of the character that another crazy ass Asian, actress Bai Ling played in the Hong Kong movie Three Extremes II. She makes dumplings out of fetuses and women who eat the dumplings will have youthful complexion for life. I am sure, like Bai’s character, Wei East will go to any length to preserve the beauty of your skin. Just make sure to study the ingredient list before you dab that moisturizer on your face.