The most famous Asian pussy in the world is turning 35 this year. I know Hello Kitty has been around for a while but never knew she was the same age as me. This makes her a Tiger according to the Chinese zodiac. Those born in the year of a Tiger are supposed to be “difficult to resist, for they are magnetic characters and their natural air of authority confers a certain prestige on them“. Is this why bitch is so popular and well liked by many even though she always treats people with such rudeness? Look, when was the last time she said hello back to you when you mentioned her name? N-E-V-E-R!

Any-hello-kitty-maniac-way, there is a video floating around the web that shows Hello Kitty’s 35 years of design history. She was sporty one year, domestic another year and was even spotted in a very gay outfit one year (1994). Watching this video will be the ultimate orgasmic experience for all the Hello Kitty fans out there.

Happy birthday bitch! I wanted to give you a birthday cake but you don’t have a mouth to blow the candles so I am sending you to my plastic surgeon to get a plump, sexy little mouth instead.