Most of the stuff Japan creates I’m in awe of, one way or another. And a lot of it, we use and enjoy. But what about the other rejects that don’t quite make American shores? I can see the conversation now. “Mr. Panasonic, I really loved that thing you call an LCD-HDTV you invented and sent to my house yesterday, as I watch movies on It with all my friends and family. But sorry, I really didn’t find a place for your umbrella shoes, my store shelves are full”. Oh and good luck– like you could say this directly to the Japanese directors face without getting sliced and diced by his Ginsu he invented just last Christmas! Without further ado, in no particular rank, here are some really lame, or strange inventions!

The umbrella shoe (pictured above)
For the guy who just has to protect his nice, brand spanking new shoes from the rain. Why not install these umbrellas for each of your shoes, now? I hear the ladies dig it.

The umbrella tie
We’re talking winter, and rain season here, so I’ll do a couple more. Lazy to carry an umbrella, and want the convenience of it being in an already tied, tie? Get an umbrella tie! Although I have no idea how you’re going to put it back on your shirt after its wet from the rain.

Hay fever hat
So you can’t be bothered with a pocket pack of tissues, because a roll of toilet paper strapped to the top of your head is just much more convenient. Just think about all the people who’ll laugh at you.

Pork ramen-flavored candy
Isn’t the point of candy to be sweet? Maybe we’ve been wrong, and we’re the one’s who are backwards, and the Japanese have it right all along?! Do you want a crystallized pork noodle broth drop? You’re in luck! Get an order from Japan, at J-list!

Hair-growth shower cap
The creator claims that if you slip one on, the cap will “steam” the water that is captured in the shower to invigorate new hair growth, because they claim Japanese scientists have discovered that the root of all hair loss is the clogged hair pathways in your skin. Yeah, sure. Try it out for just $90usd

Cardboard speakers
Yeah can it get any cheaper? You would think it should be dirt cheap, but it will actually cost you around $40USD to get a pair. But why would you?

Humping USB dog
You know, in America there’s plenty of large housing and land to support dogs and at no point on any day do we not get our leg humped by some strange dog. In Japan where housing is minimal, less people own dogs, and thus the problem was kind of solved with a usb humping dog. This toy dog will hump your computer all night long while you stay up and type your essay that you were procrastinating on.

Here’s another strange USB device. What the in heck? Japan who’s known to be super efficient in electric and also material, along with resource usage does not seem like a country to contradict their best strength. So here we have a bbq made with what looks like 20 USB cables and 6 adapter cards connected to a tiny palm sized BBQ. If you ask me, all that electricity drain and cost for such gross tasting meat, would be easier to whip out your camp propane/electric grill.

Hello Kitty contacts
Nevermind that anyone would stare at you so close to notice that those are Hello Kitty pictures in your eyes. All people will see is you have white gleeming eyes, and should run because you’re probably a demon.

This cute little baby boy is another usb powered object that responds by blushing, blinks and laughs every time you type the letter “H”. H in Japan refers to “X” like in America, or Erotic. So basically, an alarm when you try to go on those late night porn sites.

To celebrate the launch of our Japanese entertainment sister site Rekuru, this blog post is part of the Ningin Japan-a-thon.