We’ve all seen it. Whether you’re Asian, White, Black, Hispanic, Orange (really really tan people)–we’ve ALL seen it. The stare. The Asian stare. Can you feel it?

Behold, to your left, we’ll call this Exhibit A. The flat expression, the wide eyes (well, kinda), the optional round face–these are all tell-tale signs of the stare. And my wish for this year is for all of us Asians to stop staring at me when I’m buying coffee.

The Vietnamese are the ones who I have the most experience with. Not only because I’m Vietnamese but also because I’m a skilled, licensed professional in catching people in the act of doing it (I’ve got a pretty mean stare myself). It’s awkward because the only way to stop a Vietnamese person from staring at you is to stare at them back. Make them feel awkward, uncomfortable, and mildly interesting to stare at and they’ll shift their fixed gaze elsewhere. Shall we say, fighting fire with fire?

Although all Asians pretty much have the Asian stare down pat, it’s when they add their own twist that things begin getting interesting. I won’t say who does what, but we’ve all seen it as well. In addition to the stare, some smile, some chuckle, some mumble sweet nothings to themselves and some, a very small “some”, fight you.

I’ve also seen the stare in other places. For example, this sprite young man is trying emulate the stare. No quite there yet, but it’s definitely worthy of noting.

I’ve seen animals do it as well. This one’s a little creepy so if you have weaker constitutions then I suggest you bypass this image. Mind you this is a family portrait that has been cropped down. The original has not been found.

And I’ve also seen it on the telly. Spongebob Squarepants’ very own Patrick Star was caught in the act. Guess what I did? I fought fire with fire.

Before I close, I wish to repeat that for this year’s holiday season, I wish for all Asian people to set aside their stares and just enjoy the holiday season–or at least while I’m buying my coffee. Although I’m pretty sure that’s very much impossible, I figured I’d toss that into the mix for Santa to take care of.