If you’re a K-Pop fangirl and you happen to have a boyfriend right now, you may have come across some problematic situations regarding your fandom and his comfort. Never fear, because following these rules may just help boost your relationship!
I’ve created these rules with your boyfriend being okay with K-Pop in mind, but look to the bottom if your boyfriend doesn’t necessarily like this genre in general.
Rule #1: Don’t Overdo It
Sure, he’s fine with you fangirling, but it might just be annoying to him when you constantly rave about your favorite group. I mean, think about it; if your roles were switched, would you enjoy listening to him go on and on about his favorite group and not pay attention to you? Spazzing once in a while, perhaps during a concert, would be reasonable. However, continually obsessing over a certain member’s fashion might not be a good idea.
Rule #2: Sharing Might Not Be So Caring
Let’s say you’re a fan of a boy group. Chances are that your boyfriend might not be into boys as much as you are (although there’s nothing wrong with liking guys). Sharing your posters of shirtless guys or showing off your new fanfiction of your favorite couple is probably going to creep him out. Again, switch roles and see if you can handle his fanfictions. If both of you like the same group, then this shouldn’t be a problem.
Rule #3: Spend Some Time With Him
If you’ve noticed that you guys have been isolated recently, maybe it’s time to let go of the computer and go out for the night. It’s a bit difficult sometimes when you’re in a relationship, as you have to balance out your love for your group and your love for him. However, if you really like the guy, keep him above your fandom. Setting your priorities straight doesn’t mean throw away all your albums; it just means that you could probably talk about his hobbies once in a while instead of yours.
Rule #4: Ranting Is Okay In Small Amounts
Apparently your bias has been attacked by a couple of anti-fans, and you need a place to vent. Going to your boyfriend immediately may be okay for a few times. On the other hand, going to him all the time to take a load of might cause him to think that you only use him to release your anger. Instead of taking it out on him, maybe ask for his opinion on the matter. The topic you’re mad about might not be worth all that emotion, so getting his thoughts may help you separate the worthwhile from the worthless. This can also relate to the first rule, as overdoing things can lead to an unstable point in the relationship.
Rule #5: Respect His Likes
If he doesn’t want to like that group, then don’t force him to. Your boyfriend is entitled to his own opinion, just as you are entitled to yours. It’s okay to like different things; if both of you always agreed on the same subject, then wouldn’t that be boring? Individuality in relationships is one of the more important things, rather than having the exact same interests. This concept leads into the next rule:
Rule #6: Pay Attention To His Interests
You might be fangirling too much to notice what he’s into; if it comes to the point where it’s his birthday and you have nothing but K-Pop as gifts, then it might be time to take note of what he enjoys. There’s nothing wrong with giving K-Pop merchandise as presents, but what if he likes video games? Once again, it all comes back to the rule of not overdoing it. You don’t want to bombard him with K-Pop all the time, if he’s not as an avid fan as you. When the both of you know what the other likes and dislikes, it brings you two together and creates a close bond within the relationship.
But hold up: what if your boyfriend doesn’t like K-Pop, or even hates it?
Rule #1: Be Understanding
I have a friend who completely despises K-Pop, and he totally grimaces every time he hears anyone talking about it. However, his girlfriend likes K-Pop, and he doesn’t mind that at all. If your boyfriend doesn’t like the genre, talk to him about it and see what his boundaries are. Let’s say he’s okay with you talking about K-Pop, but doesn’t like the songs. Then play your songs where he can’t hear them or play them in such a way that he’s comfortable with it. Explain to him that you’re in love with this genre, and, if he’s really a good boyfriend, then he’ll be content with you being a fangirl.
Rule #2: Don’t Annoy Him
Once in a while, teasing him with something related to K-Pop may be funny. Nevertheless, if you keep irritating him by singing the same song over and over again, your relationship might become a bit rocky. Keeping in mind that he’s not so comfortable with this genre and knowing his limits allows both of you to continue having a healthy relationship. If you keep annoying him, then he might question whether or not you really respect his opinions and the relationship you guys have.
Rule #3: Don’t Let Him Change You
Be that as it may, your boyfriend may try to force you to stop fangirling. In this case, take a moment to look back and see if something had happened that caused him to behave this way. If you’re sure that you’ve done nothing that would cross the line, then switch your view onto the relationship. Does he try to control you in any other way, perhaps where you guys go during dates? If you notice that he’s very dominant and aggressive, having a talk would be a good idea. Respecting his opinion is always good, but respect has to go both ways, otherwise it wouldn’t work out very well, would it?
Those are just my rules for fangirls who have boyfriends, but feel free to add or take away some in order to fit your personal tastes.
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