Okay, so a typical fangirl or fanboy probably wouldn’t need to learn how to KPOP. It’s easy. You just spazz, wait up for midnight music video releases, cry over how perfect your bias is, ship biases with other biases, watch variety shows, make GIFs, etc. So what would you learn if a thing such as a KPOP School or KPOP University existed? How would a typical school day be like? Here’s what I imagine it to be:
1. Socially - If it is the first day of school and you don’t know a single person in your class, that wouldn’t be scary at all at a school for K-poppers. Everyone can be friends with everyone easily! Fans do it all the time at concerts and through online KPOP forums and websites. You already have common interests and don’t you just hate it when you don’t have friends to spazz with? Or if some of your friends don’t like KPOP at all? That wouldn’t be a problem at this school! The only cliques in this school would probably be split into different fanclubs such as ELFs and VIPs.
2. Math - This class would probably make math actually fun for a change. You learn the concept of f(x), practice counting members of groups and even do weird word problems associated with them.
For example, Super Junior had 12 members in the beginning. Kyuhyun joined them. Later on, Super Junior M was created and ELFs liked to consider the 2 new Chinese members as part of member count. However, Ki Bum magically disappeared after Super Junior’s third album. Hangeng left the group. An incident happened a few years ago and Kang In left for the military. Heechul then followed afterwards. Kang In came back. Anyway, how many members are there total that are currently active in Super Junior’s latest album? Sometimes they don’t even have to be in numbers.
Quiz time! What is JYJ + HoMin? Answer: DBSK! Easy, right?! And if grading were according to MBLAQ’s standards, everyone one gets an A+!
3. Physical education - This isn’t everyone’s favorite subject, I know. However, at a KPOP school, they’ would probably teach you dances to KPOP songs as part of the curriculum! They’d probably even teach the boys how to get those yummy chocolate abs and girls how to get SNSD-like legs.
4. Electives - Music classes would probably be teaching you how to play your favorite songs and there’d probably even be fun karaoke sessions! Computer classes? There would be a graphic design class for sure where you learn to master Photoshop to create stunning fan-fiction posters, KPOP wallpapers, icons, forum signatures, GIFs, fan shirts, and more!
How about foreign language? There are two options: Korean and Engrish. Art classes would probably revolve around making fan-art and concert signs. In creative writing class, you’d learn to read and write excellent fanfiction! (Although you might want to keep things rated PG-13 because it’d be pretty awkward to let your teacher read and grade that…haha.) Don’t these all sound fun?
6. Lunch - There’s one thing that would definitely be sold in the cafeteria, Onew’s favorite, chicken! They’d also have mandoo dumplings that remind us of some of our favorite idols’ cute cheeks. Park Bom would recommend the corn and have you tried the Super Junior Salad? And of course, there would be (actual) delicious Korean food like ddeobokki, bibimbap, kimchi, and more!
7. Field trips - This school would do huge field trips and go as far as a world tour. However, sometimes, in KPOP terms that probably means mostly Asia and California, specifically Los Angeles. Concert field trips would also be fun!
Even though you have only 4minutes to get to each class, you do get out at the hottest time of the day, 2PM! Oh, and if the school was rich enough, KPOP groups would perform at school rallies and dances and be prom dates. Sigh, if only this existed, right?

August 10, 2012 08:00 PM | by