Halloween is almost here, and zombies are getting ready to get out of their graves for their human-hunt every year. And while Nichkhun and Taecyeon and Bora are happily running away with their superb athletic skills and Victoria prepares a nice house away from the zombies for her f(x) children to hide in, there are a few idols that for whatever reasons, will probably be eaten by zombies first.
(Some of these you might not agree with, but read the explanations, they’re actually possible. Kind of.) Also, the post is entirely based on my personal observations and languages are used for the purpose of humor. Please do not feel offended in any way.
And now, the Zombie victims, in no particular order:
1. SNSD Jessica
Seohyun would probably have already evacuated her unnies five months before the zombies can make their way there. However, there is always our ice princess who is just not impressed. “Zombies? What zombies? Eh I’ll just leave when they knock on the door. They might speak English too.”
2. Infinite Sungyeol
The hyper boy is just so hyper at the weirdest occasions and is so unaware of what the heck is happening around him that makes him an easy target for the zombies to get to. Plus, with the prank-loving Infinite members, he probably won’t be going nowhere until the zombies tap on his shoulder. It will probably look a little something like this:
3. MBLAQ Lee Joon
It’s not that he’s lazy or that he is too hyper (even though he often is indeed…), it’s simply the fact that…he just sometimes does the wrong thing at the wrong time that just makes no sense at all. Of course, who needs sense when you’re Lee Joon? Though, the not-so-bright zombies probably don’t understand Lee Joon’s adorable charisma and may just gulp him down in one bite.
From about 5:55
4. Big Bang Ji Yong…AKA G-Dragon
You might be tilting your head to the side and wondering what has gotten into me for G-Dragon to make it to the list and TOP is spared. Well, the statistics is made from the Big Bang episode of Running Man, and while TOP was all pro and catching people with no mercy, Ji Yong was having an encounter with Haha and is completely fooled around by the penguin. And that was a penguin, what will happen if it were a zombie?
5. Super Junior Leeteuk
It’s not that Leeteuk himself has any problem at all, with his fitness and hard-working attitude he would definitely be able to get away from the zombies along with fast runner Eunhyuk. However, with his big, loving, umma-heart, he will be so busy rescuing his members, such as the Heechul who tries to seduce the zombie with his beauty, or Kyuhyun who is too busy gaming to care about the zombies, or Ryeowook who just goes full aegyo and pleading for the zombie to let him go even though the zombie isn’t even going to eat him, that he becomes the one that eventually got eaten.
Oh yeah, in the meantime he probably will fly to China to rescue Hangeng from those Chinese jumping-zombies that are 13 times scarier.
6. LeeSsang Gary
“Come to the zombies, we have Mong Ji.”
7. SHINee Onew
The adorable full-of-fail leader of SHINee who we just can’t get enough of. Though, I don’t think the zombies will consider the “adorable” part when they see Onew tripping on his own foot and lying flat on his face. Onew probably will be a nice little dinner, if you sprinkle him with a little Doritos powder.
If you know what I mean…
(The soy un Dorito reference from Sherlock? Yeah? No? Sorry.)
I pretty much don’t need to say a thing. This guy is just so unlucky in every single aspect that zombies probably don’t even need to put that much effort into catching him. Always abandoned by his members, and is part of the “Easy Brothers” after all.
Cue Saint Agnes and the Burning Train.